Prana, Finding My Inner Beast

(photo taken by ryan)

Yesterday was my 6 week postpartum visit with my lovely midwives and we had a chat. Isn’t that exactly what we all need at that stage in the 4th trimester? We need to leave the house and reconnect with the world, and we also need to feel supported and understood by other women who know. No one can know like a midwife, that’s a fact.

 I’m feeling up to just about anything now, so long as I can do it with a baby strapped to my chest, but it’s not been an easy 7 weeks since Rainer was born. I was hit with a horrific flu bug that lasted way too long and developed into a sinus infection, I got my very first migraine, I have postural neck pain from nighttime nursing acrobatics, and I dare say a touch of the crazies. Hormones are so ugly, I vote in favor of banishment. Sleep deprivation+making food for another human being who eats every hour+healing body+infection+migraine=a tough “baby moon.”

Last week I went to our family practitioner and presented him with a list of common complaints and had him reassure me that I’m absolutely fine. I felt a little brushed off, but I am glad he isn’t overly alarmist. We agreed to order blood work as a follow up to my pregnancy anemia, and I felt compelled to have my vitamin d and thyroid checked as well. The results came back yesterday and it turns out I’m not anemic in the least, I brought my b12 up to 1038 (from 400), my vitamin d is “optimal,” and my thyroid is great. I have been feeling decidedly non-anemic this last week, no hypotension and no fatigue other than what is expected.

I am so thankful that I had my perfect homebirth and the loving kindness of my midwives during my pregnancy. I have healed in an emotional and physical sense from the experience of this pregnancy and birth. My eating habits are forever changed by seeking out how to heal my body of anemia and a b12 deficiency and my faith in…everything, but especially my own body, has been renewed.

Now! What I intended to write here is how I feel like I got the go-ahead from my body to move forward with my health goals. There is nothing that needs fixing quite like my inner beast. You know how there are people who just exude strength and glow with superior fitness? I want to be one of those assholes. The person you see in the co-op and they’re aura is like, blinding you with its intensity. I have been told that this comes from a dedication to ex-er-syz? I am starting slowly with a yoga program that has a meditation and daily lesson component as well as pranayama. Starting with the mind, you see. I am also doing this totally insane Couch25k thing, but I don’t want to talk about that here, YET.

I am going to kick 36 in the ass, basically, and that all starts tomorrow.

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now. -Goethe